If I love you this much, would you love me so much more? To be able to see you yet not see anything else. I must widen my gaze. Not just to you but the people and things around you. That way, I can grow and progress, to be a better person than I am, a better human being. I always thought my single-pane window was wide enough, was my world. But there's so much more out there. A mental note to let me go, let my imagination run free. Don't be afraid to challenge and take the first step into the unknown. "Don't say that you don't know. But ask why not?"

Design, please reciprocate my love.
I'm sorry, but food, you're number two..

Somehow, it just doesn't feel right. It was not meant to be you and I was wondering why it wasn't someone else. But since you were there, I only remember you held my hand and we walked up the grand staircase. It was a ball.. or something like that. Unfortunately, the stairs was at a weird angle and it was slippery. I'm not sure how I got there, but I ended up treading thin air on the otherside of the staircase and my only lifeline was my hand in yours. But even then, I could feel my hands slipping and I screamed as I fell.

And then I woke up. But seriously, it was weird you were here..

not another one... good vs. bad

i had another dream... this time it was half a bad dream...
perhaps i shouldn't go back to bed after i had awaken from sleep...
or perhaps i should empty my bowels before going back to bed,but i was lazy of course (and look where it got you!!)

so yea, the dream:




my mom and i were going on this trip. we were already inside the bus when i noticed that we didn't bring any luggage with us!!
i asked my mom and she said, 'no need wan la. why you worry for?? it's gonna be hot what.'
in my mind i was like, 'mom!!! i sweat a lot and we're not going to a cold place, and some more you tell me IT'S GONNA BE HOT??!!!'
but i just kept quiet...
then, since my uncle and cousins were on the bus to bid us safe journey, the bus - of course - stopped at the guardhouse to let them down...
the bus had two exits, one on the right and the other on the left...
my mom was already snoozing with her feet up beside me... =.='
i was actually thinking, 'why didn't i go to toilet before we got on the bus?' [i think my nightmare was like this because in real life, i think i was thinking the same thing!! except the bus part..]
and i stared longingly out of the right hand exit of the bus, at the toilet just near the bus but afraid to go out in case the bus left without me... [you can inform the bus driver mah!!! idiot!!!]
and that was when i saw my *ahem*... he was sitting in a yellow [what an ugly colour] convertible with the roof down and it was raining [weird]...
he was not driving the car and he sat with his mom, looking back... i don't know why, but i just kept staring (and he was staring back)...
then, the bus wanted to move and i waved at him (he waved back)... i think his mom saw, and he was talking to his mom but his eyes never left mine [wuah... so romantic man... puhleeze, - rolls eyes-]
the bus moved and i was still holding on to my bladder when we passed bangsar village [i've never even been in there...]

then, all of a sudden, i was running and i was in a race or something with another partner... this girl [i dunno how she looks like/who she is], had fainted and i dragged her along on a big coconut leaf [the one where the olden days people used to play racing games with when they were kids]
i asked the shop people [the back lanes] how on earth to get to this place [i forgot what the place was called] and i passed this bridge with running water underneath it and a dry bank... i tried to go down but it was impossible to drag my partner downwards [bring her to a clinic and lose the stupid race la instead of suffering like an idiot!!]
so i gave up and i saw other contestants trying to go the same way. i ran straight, up a hill where there were luxury apartments [more like shabby motels, and you'll read why]
i knocked on a door and a half naked guy answered the door with a lady who was scantily dressed, standing behind him...
my mind, 'shit!!'
but i asked him anyway on how to get to this particular place and that i hoped he didn't mind. [what guy WOULDN'T MIND when some brat disturbed his "SLEEP"??]
an old lady wearing a red and black patterned blouse overheard us and while going down a staircase next to his room, she said, 'yeah, yeah...' [i'm not talking to you and if you were to answer, give the correct answer la!!]
i dragged my partner and myself into the room and when i turned back, this guy was already pointing out to where i was supposed to go...
i asked him, 'ha?? you're using google earth ah??' (but i was more concentrated on two black shapes on the screen)
he told me, 'no, you use this way.'
'but i used that way just now... is that guy beating some one up??'
he said, ' yeah, you just be careful' [what a nonchalant way to say it, like beating anyone up was common...]
it was the place where the bridge with the running stream underneath it!!!
omg... i'm supposed to use THAT way??!!!
i just kept looking at the computer screen, thinking that it was a live footage and this guy started beating a lady (i heard her screaming [how the heck?? is technology THAT magnificent until google earth can detect people's voices??]) using a huge wooden 'x'...
he repeatedly rammed the wood to her face [and i think i saw..., i mean dreamt, round blobs of organs coming out]
omg, she [the black shape] was yelling for help and screaming and bleeding at the same time...
i was on my way there when i thought to myself, mebbe the guy whose help i asked for IS the guy who beat up the woman but i don't know how he did it when he was sitting beside me, pointing to the screen...
maybe he was playing a dvd or something... [omg, he records his murders??!!! o.O]




and that was then i woke up, trying to catch my breath like i just had a marathon... how horrible was that?? stupid...
maybe i should have this post and other past/future posts labeled 'dream' since i keep having so many...
nice/good dreams are ok but i detest bad dreams...
is it a SIGN for things to come??

another one

i had a dream (yet again) but this time it was pleasant...

there were klgr and jm in class and this gal and guy were there too... kl and jm were doing their lovey-dovey stuff (lol)... this gal had her bag full of those key chain thingy and this guy was taking them all out... she ordered for the guy to give them back and when she was about to take the last one, he didn't give it back but looked playfully at her... irritated but smiling she asked him, "you want me to kiss you then only you'll give it back is it?"


that was when i woke up... too much bourne trilogy and shojo manga... speaking of which... wei li, if you're reading this:




dear wei li,
i have a desperate problem... the shojo manga's which you had burnt for me on the cd (sorry, that was 2 years ago and i still have not found the time to finish all of them) are, well lets just say that the current one i'm reading has a problem...('high school debut' i think) i was reading from the first volume when all of a sudden, i'm reading the third volume... i can't find the second one (haruna tells yoh that she loves someone - and that's his good friend, fumiya - and the next thing i'm reading is that she and yoh are a couple...) and i've unzipped all of the files in that particular manga folder!!! help me please...

desperate shojo manga reader





haha... that looked like i was writing to the advice column in the newspapers...

ok, today, we went to another college/uni... it was darn far so that means we might have to stay in hostel, which had 12 ppl sharing 6 toilets and shower rooms (if it was a twin sharing plan) but it was ok (but i'm more comfortable in my own place)... except that if i wanted to study there, i'll have to take up american degree transfer programme and then do a 2+2!!! sigh... i'm kinda worried that's all... they had no architecture of interior architecture which means that i'll have to look for the course in usa and that's if i study hard and get a scholarship to go there... sigh sigh sigh... murmur murmur...




"who died and made you king?" ... i'm having that thought in my mind as my room is being invaded by mindless blood suckers, - mosquitoes - ...

bad bad bad

i woke up at 6-ish at the end of a horrid dream!!! (must be all those pizzas i had yesterday... ) oink oink... oh, about that, my mom thought the revive 7 up drink that they served was SOAP WATER... haha... and she asked the waitress what water it was... it was so funny... i mean, it does LOOK like soap water... :-p

i dreamt that i was doing an art exam at home... the exam was supposed to end at 3pm but 30 minutes before the end, i realised that i screwed up the drawing... and that i used my own paper thin art block paper instead of the exam thick art block paper with the school exam chop at the back... i was like shit shitting all the way... i was supposed to draw a man sitting on a sofa on the right 3/4 of the art block (he had an evil look), on the left side was a man gagged, bound and sat on a chair watching television... =.='... and there were supposed to be malaysian flags in the picture... more =.=''''....

i finished re-drawing and painting it 30 minutes AFTER the exam and i kept yelling hysterically for someone to drive me to school NOW!!! ... i went out the front door of the house and all of a sudden, i was standing in front of the door of the teacher whom i was supposed to pass this exam thingy to and she was having a class... and guess where this place was??


it was the HOSTEL we checked out on sunday!!!! omgad!!!


horror of horrors!!!


i passed my paper to her and without a word, she slammed the door in my face...


i was awakened by the sound of music... haha...

weirdo...

wut on earth??!!!

this is real stupid... i got trapped in a dream this morning n made my bro 1 minute late 4 his prefect duties... well, i was being guarded by sum macho men n i think dere wuz a cute guy there too but i cant remember his muka... sad... anyway, i am being hunted to be assassinated n i got shot, so these org were protecting me... suddenly, they heard dat this assassin wuz sum where on the other side of the world n they went leaving me wid sum incapable of protecting me including my leng chai left me to get rid of this assassin... then, the assassin came 2 where i wuz n took out all the guys 'jaga'ing me... then, he took me out wid sum stuff, n tot i wuz dead but i fake die la... then, he went away driving a green van... then i woke up n hurriedly lari... calling da macho guys but cudnt get them... wherever i lari, this guy who tried to assassinate me wud be nearby n he is also a mole in the macho guys company... soo... i ended up where i started after going fr place to place... kinda like around the world thing... the guy wuz also there n he tot i wuz there... then i sighed... i cepat cepat climb another way when he waz searching da hse... then, i walk on the roof tops.... n dats when...






I WOKE UP!!! at 7.20a.m.!!! luckily i live near skl but my bro is still pissed for me waking up late... sheesh...




wut da heck?? stupid dream... make me wake up late n gasping for breath after 'running' 4 soooo long... cacat... im trying to upload sum pics on my blog in da computer lab thinking dat it will work but unfortunately it's NOT!!! wtheck??!!! yoh... y lidet wan!!!??